Here I am again with another life lesson…
I absolutely hate to say I feel depressed when I have everything I could possibly need, and that’s what got me thinking…
Why am I depressed when I have everything I could possibly need?
The Root Of The Problem
There’s a certain amount of it to do with my little baby getting older, she’s 4 months now and is becoming more human-like everyday! But there are multiple factors…
Her growing age means she requires more of my attention. That’s definitely not an issue, having all my attention is her birth-right. Also I love her to teeny tiny bits <3 But if you pile on top of that chores, hobbies, study, appointments, gym, quality time with my fiance, work and breastfeeding, it starts to weigh heavy. Being back at work has been the most difficult part. I love my jobs, but keeping up with expressing so there is milk stored for baby is a whole part-time job in itself! I spend upwards of 2 hours nearly everyday expressing milk so that baby is exclusively breastfed.
Not complaining, just expressing myself (haha, literally). I know I have choices and I’m adamant that I maintain my milk supply.
With everything leaning on me, I’ve had to push some things off to regain sanity. Life seriously doesn’t need to be a challenge all the time!
Discipline is one thing, over-commitment is another.
Co-incidence Or What?
I said before that the remedy was to stop doing so many things- so I sacrificed my hobbies (that was the most sensible to rid). I took the intensity out of making videos, writing poems, blogging, photography, all that which I liked to do, and oddly enough, during my down-time of doing nothing and mentally relaxing, I stumbled upon a magical video that would obliterate the anguish and depression. I’ll sum it up in one word:
The philosophy of self control and fortitude (overcoming obstacles).
So, this YouTuber guy, Daily Stoic, was discussing 12 major questions we should be asking ourselves everyday in order to live in harmony and happiness. It was on the basis of stoicism. What drew me to the title (’12 questions we should be asking ourselves everyday’) was that I thought I’d find some ideas I could implement into everyday life to prevent getting depressed.
Surprisingly, I did.
I’ll link the video at the end of this post if you want to also become enlightened.
In the video he discussed stoic concepts:
- who you spend time with and how it shapes you
- external circumstances and using trauma to your benefit
- imagining your ideal day to create your ideal life
- defining your values and living by them day-to-day
- emotional control & discipline
- what you miss out on when you worry
- doing YOUR job (eyes on your own lane)
- if what you’re doing actually matters– my favourite point
- not everything needs an opinion- my most favourite point!
I’ll talk about the last 2 points because they are what turned me around 720 degrees!
Does What You’re Doing ACTUALLY Matter?
Most of it, no.
I like to think I’m superwoman sometimes.
I think I can do everything. I mentioned earlier the 101 activities I try to do on a daily basis. And that’s all sweet until I become exhausted and irritable, or something totally out of my control falls on me, or there’s no eggs in the fridge and so I can’t have my fried egg sandwich… which I eat every morning!!
Buuuuutttttt, a lot of these activities and ‘priorities’ seriously don’t matter. There is more value in living a simple life than an over-productive one.
There is more value in living a simple life than an over-productive one.
Actually, in the process of culling unnecessary stress, I came up with the idea to do word puzzles to get me off social media, especially when I’m breastfeeding and can’t really do much else.
2 months in and I’m mildly addicted to crosswords, word search, word-snake, guess the 5 letter word and connect the dots. I avoid, with intense guilt, any maths puzzles or anything with numbers.
This is the mobile app I use. It’s great (and free)!
Anyway, occasionally, once my real duties are completed to the best of my abilities and I’ve taken the time to be present and connected to myself and Earth, I’ll do something creative or work on my ‘side hustle.’ And I will emphasise: ‘to the best of my abilities’ because if I’m rushing through tasks, being half-assed, what’s the point?
Have some purpose in what you’re doing, whatever it is!
I’ve established a lovely balance of productivity, purpose, family, presence and fun.
“Not Everything Needs An Opinion!”
H.O.L.Y. S.H.I.T.E. When the YouTuber guy blatantly said this I fell off the couch. Not literally, but immediately I thought you’re right. I can be judge-y, especially when I’m on social media, comparing my life to everyone else’s. Why do I even do it? It has ZERO practical purpose. I don’t see how it could have any positive outcome.
That’s not to say we shouldn’t ever have opinions. I guess they still have value. They can be a tool to which we build an identity from and they can guide the decisions we make, BUT I reckon most of our opinions don’t relate to survival.
Stop hating the weather and let it be hot, cold, windy.
Stop judging your productivity and feeling mad at yourself and just do what needs to get done… or don’t.
Stop criticising that stranger in a Facebook reel, you’re not achieving anything and you’ll probably never even face them in real life.
I’m not a professional in opinion analysis- if that’s even a thing, but I do believe most things don’t need a comment.
What do you think?
This idea ties in with having self-control over your emotions by not letting opinions control you, and by having the discipline to live life according to your values.
SO, that’s the philosophy and what I got from the video.
Give it a watch and keep working on being your better, most content self!