Wow, becoming a mother– something I’d never thought I’d take on offer.
Lyrics
I always thought becoming a mother would mean more than change. I was worried I’d lose myself after birth.
To label myself under the identity of ‘Mum’ because there would be no more ‘me‘ only ‘us’.
I always thought becoming a mother would mean more than change. I was petrified of the standards, the attention, the drama and depression.
But any worthy thing in life will take unrelenting exertion of effort.
And ‘Mum’ is not a separate entity I’ll have to pretend to be, Mum will be my code-name, I’ll always be
Emily.
Behind The Lyrics
*me easing myself into the inevitable future*
It was never in my life plan to have a baby. I loathed children (perhaps that was just to do with my age– I thought they were all gross, annoying and a financial burden). My life was about… me.
As well as that, I didn’t trust anyone enough for that kind of commitment! Or so I thought. When I accidentally got pregnant, I fell so in love and had a lot of faith that Simon and I would be together long-term. He had already drastically influenced my life in such a positive way that, regardless of what happened, I had absolutely no regrets.
Talking to him in one of our late-night deep and meaning conversations, he mentioned how who we thought we were and wanted to be before we met, was different to who we actually were and what we were smoothly evolving into as humans.
As part of the process of accepting that I’m going to be a mummy, I wrote this poem out of reassurance that having a baby didn’t mean I was having to give myself away. I’d still be my own person, just with the responsibility of raising another human who would evolve into being their own self. Motherhood, to me, doesn’t mean trading my life, it simply means getting the opportunity to enrich it.
Motherhood doesn’t mean trading your life, it simply means having the opportunity to enrich it.
Credits
Background Music: https://freetouse.com/music #2 Careful by Pufino
Footage & poem by me 🙂
-hippie t.