Now, you probably don’t need to go out and get pregnant to learn this, BUT my pregnancy has taught me one invaluable piece of wisdom:
It’s been a psychotic journey of moods (predominately sadness), short fuse, and mash potato brain; that is, baby brain. Only from the internal storm, did I truly understand what Robin Williams meant when he said:
You will have bad times, but they will always wake you up to the stuff you weren’t paying attention to.
I’ll tell you below, how this suffering helped me.
Most of us know about ‘Yin and Yang’—the balance of good and bad in life– but that knowledge alone, in my opinion, doesn’t ease depression or anxiety or whatever you’re suffering. It’s one thing to trust that good returns after times of bad, but when? Right? From my hormonal experiences, it’s too easy to spiral into unbridled depression from either a single, surface level thought, or someone’s unkind intonation. With this small human growing in me, I’m already half-tired and spaced out just as a usual state of being, so to flounder under the weight of anxiety and emotions (and they’re abundant) is like accidentally spilling a cup of water balancing on a sewing needle, without even going near it. Fragile indeed, I wrote a short poem about it, have a read.
I found that it helps to recognise which specific areas of life keep you afloat and to surrender in the midst of the storm, allowing in the good despite of the severity of your pain. That’s where we greet gratitude with a bitter smile and invite them in for a beverage.
Having Gratitude– It can be hard, but here’s how
Gratitude is a strong force for my uprise.
If it’s not already ingrained into your daily ritual, start by listing things you’re grateful for.
It might make you uncomfortable and unhappy, but there is zero harm in doing it.
Use the space in the bottom of your busy diary, or buy a special notepad, whatever tickles your fancy. Just start.
The mind is such a powerful place. When it’s inhibited or ill, it can fail us. Practicing building more positive attitudes and conscious awareness of the good around you is essential in maintaining/ returning to a state of well-being.
Notice the little things life goes out of its way to do for you. Seriously, life can move mountains for you. Have you never had a moment where an opportunity or person or thing has randomly presented itself to you and ends up being pivotal in your life? Surely you have, sit down and have an honest speculation. Unfortunately, those rare gifts from the universe don’t come free… All the more to acknowledge and cherish them.
The suffering you’re experiencing now may be the price, testing your strength; testing your values; testing your discipline; your resilience; your willpower! For example, they say the price of love is grief, yes, and the ongoing costs of maintaining love is compromise, patience, selflessness and a dash of insanity. Agree?
Nothing in life comes free, but all that arrives is to nourish you. As my friend, Nora, used to always say in high school,
Every Little Thing is ‘Gon Be Alright
If you feel beaten, defeated, worthless, uninspired, exhausted, over it, lost, don’t dwell on it. Acknowledge it and have your mental breakdown for a moment—a long moment if you need—then get up and go for a walk or sit by the river or whatever. The strongest thing you can do is to leave your house, because walls absorb every thought and sound. Find AT LEAST one good thing; something you love; someone who reciprocates love; an experience; a colour; a n y t h i n g that has made you feel good at some point.
Comment it below or write it down and then take it on your next walk.
One helpful little tip:
If you couldn’t have the breakdown during a clear sunny day, it’s not worth having on a rainy day or at night. Rain and night are pure ingredients to internal chatter, maybe because they’re comfortable and ‘moody’. Cry with purpose (literally for whatever reason, it’s all valid) and then work on resolving the issue, I reckon. Otherwise, you’re upset just to be upset and this blog post is probably wasting your time.
Maybe these words are all bias to myself—the ones I’ve personally really been needing to hear—but I hope this reaches someone else who is stuck or upset or unmotivated. I’ve tried motivational videos in attempt to get me off the couch, but they never empower me– not nearly as effectively as observing my own pure life and allowing the forces of gratitude and nature to move me. Don’t forget the healing powers of nature.
[To those motivational videos] You can tell us to act like a lion, but not everyone wants to be a lion. Some just want to be an elegant, simple, happy gazelle, cruising along. 😊 And I’m not discrediting discipline and hard work– but in the long-term, where it becomes effective, a spike of motivation won’t persistently move you the way gratitude, awareness, and nature will.
That’s today’s word.